Just imagine for a moment that your partner has a box of big, fluffy, leggy and totally venomous spiders that they like to prank you with. Putting them in your bed, the shower, your car, your veggie wrap, and even ON you when you’re trying to have a romantic date and relax with a movie. You think they are cuddling up to you, putting their hand in yours, and suddenly their hand has too many digits because it’s another @#$%ing spider!!!! They keep doing it, and frankly no matter how many times you squeal and run away, there is no end in sight.
How safe do you feel in that relationship? Do you want to start a life with this person, have kids, and deal with this bullshit forever? NO!
I think we would all agree that even if you like spiders, these sort of spider-y shenanigans is uncalled for. However, it does show us the importance of feeling safe in our relationship. In order to be able to relax, feel connected, and want to go deeper with someone, we need to feel safe.
How can you talk to someone about emotional topics or the future if you can’t even trust them to not HIDE A SPIDER in your BRIEFCASE before your BIG PRESENTATION!? Exactly!
If life is an adventure fraught with dangers, insecurities, and big highs & lows, don’t you need to know that your partner, through it all, has your back? Yeah! So bring up the things that don’t work, or could work better in conversations, and work together to build a safe structure that is uniquely yours, spider-free.
Want to create better communication in your relationship? Grab a spot in my free Masterclass – How to Communicate: Relationship Edition!
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