This is a question I get asked all the time when it comes to self confidence: how to build it, especially around things that we aren’t that good at! We can’t just avoid our weaknesses.

Running from your weakness is about as effective as running away from your shadow. The whole process is rather fruitless and any long-term “solution” is gonna be weird – what are you gonna do, be surrounded by spotlights at all times?? This is because our weaknesses are just as much a part of us as our own shadow, and trying to run from or ignore them won’t make the issue go away. Now, why did I say it would be fruitless?

I’m so glad you asked…

1. Just because you are weak in an area doesn’t mean that you are exempt from it. If life worked that way I wouldn’t have had to struggle with math, English, science, music, history, languages, etc. For my entire academic career teachers would have just said “Wow, he sucks at all these things, let’s let him take only psych courses and blacksmithing.” You are gonna have to face your weakness at some point, either now or later.

2. You’ll have to monitor every interaction to make sure you don’t accidentally wander too close to one of your weaknesses. God forbid your loved ones ask you to add up how many apples are in the basket! If you’ve avoided math your whole life, you’ll go screaming for the hills every time it comes up. This means you’ll have to be SUPER vigilant, and you know what is really exhausting… constant vigilance.

What I want you to think about is not “if” you should address your weakness, but WHEN you want to address it. When you think about self confidence, how to build it is up to you. You can address it when the choice is yours, or you can address it when you have no choice (i.e. when LIFE makes you face it). These are your only two options, so choose wisely. Would you rather be someone who runs from parts of themselves, avoiding growth and the things you aren’t good at? Or, would you like to be the person who struggles mightily to create the life you want despite the adversity and naysayers? I know which one I am! What about you?

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