This is a big mistake that people make: they forgive and forget. But that is not a good plan, nope, not a good plan at all! Why? Well, we are all human and we all make mistakes and therefore should forgive each other. However, we SHOULD NOT forget it.
To explain this:
I’m going to use an underutilized minority as an example… werewolves. Let’s say your spouse is a werewolf and during every full moon, they transform and wreck the house. You can certainly forgive them since you know they are a werewolf and this is part of the deal. But what if every month you forget that you’re married to a werewolf?? Well, forgetting just means you’ll be surprised over and over. Every month you’ll be chased around the house and will worry about being bitten. Not to mention, you’ll be replacing furniture all the time!
And a slightly more relatable example:
Maybe you forget that your significant other gets VERY triggered when visiting family, which causes them to be an ass afterward. If you remember their triggers and know how they react, then you can remember and not take it personally when they act out. Back to the werewolf for a moment, if you remember what happens on the full moon, then you can stock up on tasty steaks, make them a soft bed in the basement, and steer clear. That’s remembering!
When it comes to forgiveness, it’s important to remember the past so you aren’t blindsided if the same thing happens again. And, if there’s a problem or a red flag that keeps showing up, then you notice it! Don’t forget red flags, because they are important signs that the relationship you’re in may have some places where you & your partner need to do some work. If you remember, then you can see if there’s progress being made, or if things are just staying the same.
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