Everyone’s got something to say about relationships, but some advice is just bad!
Today I’m gonna be debunking bad relationship advice. So buckle up and get ready because I’m talking about the worst relationship advice I’ve heard and what you should do instead.
Here’s the thing about relationship advice: there is not a one-size-fits-all-silver-bullet- miracle-cure-i-think-you-get-the-idea-so-i’m-gonna-stop.
And there’s a lot of crap out there!
Because all our relationships are different, what works well for one relationship might not work well for others.
Want to watch a YouTube video on this topic? Head to my YouTube channel to watch!
Let’s dive into the BAD advice first, the kind that NEVER works, and then I’ll tell you what you should do instead:
4 Pieces Of Advice You Should Ignore:
Bad Advice #1: Good chemistry means a good relationship
If good chemistry meant good relationships, then chemists would be the relationship gurus, not me. In relationships, chemistry is just one piece of the equation.
Once the honeymoon phase is over and the reality of life and its problems set in, your fiery make-out sessions will only do so much.
This is why many of those couples who meet on dating shows don’t work… because they have chemistry but not much else. Just because you “like” each other doesn’t mean that you’ll be compatible for the long term.
Instead, look for opportunities to go deeper. Make sure you’re on the same page, not just in the same bed.
Bad Advice #2: Time heals all wounds.
First, can we all just agree that this is a weird saying?! Sure, if I cut myself, time will allow it to scab over and heal, leaving a small scar. But here’s the thing, I still have a scar. So either time is a terrible plastic surgeon, or this is actually a trite and silly saying for “suck it up and move on.”
I’ve talked to enough people to know that heartache, betrayal, resentment, and pain can last a lifetime. Time alone won’t regenerate your heart after someone tore it out of your chest.
The truth is: It matters what you do with that time. If I wake up every day and curse that no-good-two-timing-flake who walked out on me, I’m not healing; I’m bitter. Use your time wisely to work through all your upset feelings so you can heal and move on.
Bad Advice #3: When people say, “Let’s not fight.”
I know that no one likes to fight, but actively avoiding fights in order to keep the peace is just shoving down the upset.
Eventually, all those repressed feelings build up and get so bad that we explode. Fighting isn’t a bad thing. It’s how you fight that matters. If you want to know more about how to have a “good” fight, then I did an entire video about that! You can find it here.
Bad Advice #4: Thinking, “Our problems will be better once we are married, have kids, move, get a new job, etc.”
If you are having trouble in your relationship, simply moving that relationship to a new location or adding something to it isn’t going to make it better.
If anything, that shiny new thing will just paper over the cracks and difficulties for a time until they come back. Not to mention, the new dynamics (like kids, marriage, etc.) will add their own complications and stress.
So now you’ve taken an equation that already didn’t work and added more variables. That doesn’t sound better or easier to me. Deal with the problems on your plate before you add more!
If you’ve ever taken any of this bad advice, then don’t worry; now you know why it didn’t work!
Are you ready for some good advice? Grab a spot in my free Masterclass – How to Communicate: Relationship Edition!
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