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When you live by your own definition of joy and success you become the most powerful person in your life. However, it’s easy to forget to live by your definition when life gets tough. It’s honestly incredible to see people go from being very powerful when things are going their way to totally clueless and powerless when the world isn’t working for them.

Here’s why that happens: many of us define our joy NOT by what makes us happy, but rather by how successful we are and if our expectations are met. This is a dangerous way to approach life, because it gives our personal power away to external factors, and also means that joy only happens when good things happen. Both viewpoints can leave you powerless when the world doesn’t give you what you want.

The next time you find yourself facing a situation that’s not going your way, don’t think about how it isn’t what you wanted. That will only depress you. Instead, look at what you CAN do about it. Consider the issue, rally your internal strength, and get back into a solution-focused mindset. Who knows, maybe beyond this hurdle there is joy you didn’t see coming!

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